Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
