we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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