We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
