so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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