? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
