Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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