that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
