Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
vagina is talking i cant
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
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