butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
ttyl tear gas
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You're a waste of cheezeits
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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