I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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