I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
