nut hugger
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
