Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
