I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I just googled if crying burns calories
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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