My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
