It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
