Your dad touched me again.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
When did angry sex become our thing?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize