Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
