It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
