just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
