Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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