yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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