he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
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