last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
