Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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