Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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