apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
