he wants to bone in the snuggie
i think i have herpe
just one?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
