i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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