i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
