i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
