yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize