it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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