I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
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