Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Randomize
