Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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