Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize