You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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