That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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