forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
You can't just leave with hair like that
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize
