I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
