I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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