he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
