her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
