my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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