Don't you send me to vm
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize