It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
