He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
