i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
