Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
