her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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