just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
