my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
