Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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