he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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