Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
