Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
we're making bets on your personal life
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
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