im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
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