I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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