Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
